Shakespeare for Dummies - Ummm, I mean Presidents.

OK, I know that I promised earlier that there would be no more iambic pentameter. I lied (see how easy it is to admit that?). But I decided that Shakespeare has some good lessons for our current president... if only he would learn them.

TOP TEN LESSONS FOR THE PRESIDENT FROM WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

1) "All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players." - As You Like It
We are just players in this world Mr. President. Just like everyone else. We are not the directors of this little play called the world. Now kindly exit stage left, and let a more learned player onto the stage.

2) "I am constant as the northern star, Of whose true-fix'd and resting quality There is no fellow in the firmament." – Julius Caesar
Julius Caesar spoke these words... right before he was stabbed to death because of his own stubbornness. Maybe "flip-flopping" isn't so bad, when it serves the common good. I don't think your stubbornness is going to get you killed (though it got lots of others killed), but it just might get you voted out of office.

3) Et tu, Brute? – Julius Caesar
Let's stay with Julius Caesar for a second. These three words are famous the world over as a sign of a leader betrayed by his own trusted advisors. Betrayed, not for hate of the man, but for love of the country. Sound familiar Mr. President? Collin Powell, Richard Clarke, Paul Bremer, even Donald Rummsfeld has been getting into the act. All blowing the whistle on bits and pieces of the lies your are trying to force-feed us. Risking their jobs in this economy? Sounds like love of the country to me.

4) "Something wicked this way comes." - Macbeth
Something Wicked, yes... but not Saddam Hussein. Something wicked through our ports, or from North Korea, or from Iran... or, there is that one guy... what was his name? Oh yeah, Osama bin Laden. Hmmmm - there is a blast from the past. The witches in Macbeth knew their evil, because they trusted and acted on the intelligence that they were given. They did not make that intelligence fit the story that they wanted to see.

5) Nothing can come of nothing: - King Lear
That's right, Mr. President. Nothing can come of your much hyped (but toothless) "No Child Left Behind" act, because you funded it with NOTHING. Maybe you meant for all of the uneducated children in this country to drop out of school and sign up for the armed services so they could go fight your daddy's unfinished war of oil.

6) "I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions?" – Merchant of Venice
Replace the word "jew" in every instance with the word Arab. Send the new quote over to your Justice Department and tell Mr. Ashcroft to stop equating the words Arab or Muslim with the word terrorist. They are not the same thing. Hooked on Phonics worked for me.

7) "This thing of darkness; I acknowledge mine." – The Tempest
In The Tempest, Prospero admits his mistakes, and is relieved of many of his burdens. Mr. President, you have been asked at least twice to admit JUST ONE of your mistakes over the last four years. You have yet to think of any. Do us all a favor and relieve yourself of some burdens.

8) How poor are they that have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees? Thou know'st we work by wit, and not by witchcraft; And wit depends on dilatory time." – Othello
Patience, Mr. President is a virtue. 'Nuff said.

9) "My only love sprung from my only hate!
Too early seen unknown, and known too late!" – Romeo and Juliet
Pakistan is now our ally in the war on terror... who would'a thunk? Saddam Hussein was a bad man, but people (or more likely, regimes) can change. What if Iraq was the future key to peace and stability in the Middle East. The world may never know.

10) "Now is the winter of our discontent." – Richard III
Spring (ok, it will be winter, but go with me here) is just around the corner Mr. President, and I think you will be watching from the front porch.

So, ten lessons from Shakespeare. and with that I say:
Good-night, good-night! Parting is such sweet sorrow
That I shall say good-night till it be morrow. – Romeo and Juliet